What is a Wife?

First off, we won’t know how to choose a wife if we don’t know what a wife is. Many of us in the

modern West have lost touch with what it means to have a wife because women in the West are not

raised to be wives to begin with, except for a few. A wife is like a doctor. A doctor looks after patients,

a wife looks after her husband and her children. Being a wife is a job function. It’s not a luxury or a

privilege, it’s a responsibility. When a woman is prepared to undertake the responsibility to look after

a man for the rest of his life, giving herself to him forever, she becomes a wife.

A wife is a helpmate and partner of her husband. That means that she joins him with the intention of

helping him fulfill his goals and making those goals her own. In turn, because those goals typically have

financial or societal incentives, the man dedicates his resources to serve the needs of his family. In this

way, one hand washes the other. A wife works tirelessly to serve the common purpose of the marriage

under the leadership of her husband. She is not an independent entity, living her independent life

alongside a man who is living his independent life while financially maintaining her. The independent

woman narrative is one of the main reasons why modern marriages almost always end in divorce.

There is no standard narrative that dictates to a man what his wife should and shouldn’t do in definitive

terms. That is why every religion tends to prescribe simply that a wife obeys her husband. A wife, in

essence, is the making of what her husband wants. She molds her life to his. That is why women are in

general more impressionable than men. They are designed to fit in, to get along and to go along. In the

past, before global media, the narrative for women was set by society, the Church, the husband, and

other women. In a sense, women are the custodians of culture and culture informs what behavior is

acceptable or unacceptable. Hence, in many societies up to today there is still slut shaming of women

by other women. This is not out of malicious intent, rather it is an instinct to preserve a social order that

was found to be beneficial for the establishment of stable families.

When it comes to an actual framework for what a wife is, Christianity, Islam and even to some extent

Hinduism and traditional Buddhism all espouse very similar ideas. We must ask ourselves why we are

trying so hard to reinvent the wheel on gender roles when thousands of years of history has taught us

that a natural framework emerges out of nature, culture, history, and religion. This framework can be

described through the human need to pair bond, have children and to connect fathers to their own

children so that there is sufficient parental investment from two parents.

A WIFE AS A PARTNER

Your wife must first be your partner before anything else. She is a person whose company you enjoy,

who you talk to, who you confide in and who you feel believes your interests, goals and ambitions are

important and worthwhile. For this reason, most romantic relationships start out as friendships and

simultaneously why when there is a romantic relationship having friendships with the opposite sex can

translate into cheating on your spouse. Friendship is the door to marriage in many respects in the modern

world and the boundary where friendship ends, and a romantic relationship begins, is unclear and frankly

unknown. What we do know is that a woman you can rely on, trust, and who supports you in your goals

would make a good wife.

A wife is not an equal partner. She is a subordinate partner. That means that while you are partners in

life, in that you live your lives together, she must obey you. There is good reason for why a wife is not

an equal partnership. This is not unlike business partnerships where someone owns the majority of the

equity in the company, or where one party has veto power. Simply put, there is greater investment in

marriage by men than by women. Men own the greater share of equity in marriage and if they did not

then they wouldn’t get married to begin with. It is the default nature of men to look after and sacrifice

their lives for their families. It isn’t only the default nature of men; it is also the default expectation of

women that men will protect them against the violence of other men. Since men are expected to look

after women and use their superior strength and abilities in service of their women, it right that women

obey the men under whose care they live. Hence, you cannot have a wife as an equal partner because

she isn’t charged with the same level of responsibility. A wife as an equal partner isn’t going to accept

blame when things go wrong. Women are notoriously allergic to accepting any sort of blame. In fact,

women will even blame you for believing what they said when they were emotional.

Men who believe in egalitarianism make the mistake to treat women as if they are men. They often end

up separated and walk away saying they can’t understand what went wrong. “I gave her everything.”

Women say they want men who take what they say seriously but are unable to respect men who look

to them for leadership or who treat them as equal. Women want men who they can look up to and whom

they deem are their superiors. A wife is a partner who supports your vision and goals. She takes you as

her leader and is willing to submit to your authority as the head of your home and family.

To illustrate the importance of the presence of a man in a woman’s life I will tell you a story. There was

once a man who had several daughters. His wife had died several years earlier, and he was left with the

job of raising his daughters alone. When his daughters were young adults, he decided to work away

from home for a few months to save up more money. During that time, one of his daughters fell pregnant

and another got married without his permission. When that man became old and was no longer working,

his presence in the house kept away predatory men who were only interested in using his daughters.

The presence of a man in a woman’s life is a protection for her. Don’t underestimate your value in your

wife’s life. Your presence keeps her safe. Also, remember that the presence of your wife also keeps you

safe. Men aren’t the only ones who are predators of the opposite gender. You get predator women as

well.

Another illustration that demonstrates why men make the greater investment in a marriage is the fact

that many women leave their husbands, claiming most of their wealt,h and then go on to marry another

man. For a woman to marry a man, that man must have worked on himself and his capabilities for many

years. He started providing for that woman many years before she set eyes on him. His investment

started the day he decided to make something of himself and continues until the day he dies. Your

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wealth that you will spend on a wife isn’t just money. That money represents the years of effort you put

into developing yourself, your abilities, and your career. When a woman becomes entitled to that wealth,

she is effectively claiming those life years from you that you lived long before she came into your life,

and she is saying that she wants the rest of your life years to be dedicated to her. That is why it is only

fair that she be your partner and helper, and not just a taker.

A WIFE AS A LOVER

Although most people would think that a wife as a lover is more aptly the domain of marriage, it is in

fact less important than your wife being your friend. The feelings that relate to romance are at best

temperamental and fleeting. In a long-term relationship, people cannot expect to go through constant

emotional highs because those are also accompanied by emotional lows. The relationship cannot be

about the relationship and how you make each other feel. However, it is important for a wife to also be

a lover in addition to being a friend. For this to exist, from the male perspective, she must spend some

time looking after her health, maintain a good weight, and practice good hygiene. A lover is also a

sexual partner, and for people to enjoy each other sexually, they must not be put off by their partner’s

lack of maintenance and self-care. A wife in this instance, will dress to impress her husband. A woman

who does not dress to impress her husband and does not care about her husband’s preferences in her is

not a wife. Often, such women will dress to impress other men!

A woman who isn’t prepared to do things to please her husband isn’t wife material. The goal of living

with a man should not be to make his life miserable. It should be to make his life better. Romance

involves playing into each other’s sentiments. However, this will require effort from the woman too, so

that that aspect of the marriage won’t die. As an example, if you are religious, you will find reading

scripture with your wife to be romantic because it plays into your ideals. If you like working on cars,

you will find it romantic if your wife puts on an overall and hands you the tools while you are trying to

put back a gearbox. Essentially, a lover is interested in what you are trying to accomplish and wants to

know what she can do to help you get there.

Of late, women have tried hard to reverse that role. They want men who support them in their goals and

their ambitions but feel offended the minute they are requested to do anything for those same men who

support them. You are not going to feel romantically inclined to a woman you feel like you are

constantly serving. You are only going to feel romantically inclined to a woman who is serving you.

That’s how you’ve been built as a man. There must be reciprocity in the relationship for there to be

romance. It is a sacrifice on your part as a man to take on the responsibility of having a wife to begin

with. Let’s face it, men who just want to take from women never have to marry them in this era. They

can have from a woman what marriage is supposed to provide without marriage in many respects. The

fact that you gave up the possibility of whoredom for loyalty deserves to be acknowledged.

A WIFE AS A MOTHER

People don’t get married to get married. Marriage has always been the place in which people have

children. A wife is a woman who was raised with the necessary skills to be a good mother. Those skills

are typically transferred from her own mother or caregiver. A woman who doesn’t or will not prioritize

her children after she has them is not a wife. A man cannot have children with a woman while having

to worry that those children will not be looked after properly. Building a home with a wife must come

with knowing that that wife is going to keep her husband’s legacy alive through his children and uphold

the family name. Having children isn’t merely for the purpose of perpetuating the species but also a

means to spread religion, doctrine, civilization, and goodness into the world. The opposite is also true,

raising children poorly will cause discord, a breakdown in order, barbarism, and the promotion of all

kinds of vices God forbade.

Granted, you can’t know what type of mother a woman will be when she doesn’t have children.

Presumably, you will marry a woman who doesn’t have children. What you can know about her before

marriage is whether she shares your value system. Your children are your legacy. The person who

departs your values to your children will be your wife. Most successful men spend very little time at

home. Therefore, you cannot rely on yourself to teach your children your religion, your values and the

ways of your ancestors. Hence, it will be imperative for your wife to assume the ways of your people

so that she can hand them down to your children. You can only vet her to the extent that she is

compatible with those values as a woman on her own and assess her relationship with the children in

her family. Beyond this, there is no way of knowing what type of mother she will be.

Choosing a wife who will be a good mother is the first obligation your unborn children have over you.

If you choose unwisely, your life will be a living hell as you may watch your children go astray and

choose lifestyles that you will be ashamed of. You are not just choosing the person you intend to spend

the rest of your life with, you are choosing the person with whom other people will have to spend the

rest of their lives with too. If you view it that way you’ll realize this is probably the single biggest aspect

of choosing a wife.

There are also too many instances where children are caught between parents who have different values

and then feel as if they are obligated to choose. That can be traumatic for children to have to choose

one parent over the other. Or one parent’s ideals over the other. As an example, you can’t have a wife

who says it’s fine for your daughter to become a pop star when you believe that such careers are

degenerate. You are going to insist on your values, but you are going to eventually lose your daughter

to the value system of your wife who will ordinarily have a lot more time to influence her. You might

be telling her that she needs to learn to cook and clean, and one day be an obedient wife to a good man.

Your wife might be telling her that she needs to be liberated, admired, and worshipped by hundreds of

men and not be oppressed by being a housewife. How will you manage that situation? The best thing is

to rather not get into it to begin with.

A WIFE AS A HOMEMAKER

A man can buy a house, but a woman makes it into a home. This used to be true when most women had

the skills to make a nest comfortable. A man should come home to peace, serenity, and an orderly house.

A disorganized, disorderly, untidy, and lazy woman isn’t a wife. If she didn’t learn how to cook and

clean, and she cannot make sure her husband is fed well with healthy nutritious meals then she cannot

be a wife. She can be classified as a concubine because she may potentially only offer a man sex. Most

Western women are defacto concubines and or loose women. Any woman who has voluntarily entered

a sexual relationship without commitment is a loose woman. A committed woman who developed

herself and her abilities so she can support one man to whom she is dedicated is a wife.

Imagine coming home every day of your life to a house that is untidy, where the furniture and

accessories you buy is damaged by your unruly children? Imagine working tirelessly to support a

household which you are alienated from because it is grossly untidy? Would you want to live your life

day in and day out, regretting having to go home because there’d be no peace there? Many people think

this is just a small trait and they can overlook it. Some people say they have lots of money, so they can

afford hired help and a chef. That’s where they are wrong.

A wife who has hired help must still manage that help. She still must be house proud and know exactly

how to run her household using the help. Hired helpers will need to be given instructions and work that

is done will need to be checked on. A lazy woman isn’t going to manage the hired help. She is going to

expect the hired help to work autonomously, and you are going to find that the money you spend on

them will still not result in a clean and orderly house. Being a homemaker requires an interest in the

home and the will to make it better. Not every woman has that interest and hence not every woman is

capable of being a wife.

As a man, it would be ideal if you came to a clean house, a warm plate of food, and a well-groomed wife

every day of your life. That will make you look forward to coming home every nigh,t and you will

ordinarily work even harder at making sure your children succeed in life. Why not choose a wife who

would be able to manage your home properly and who would be a source of comfort from the worries

of the world? Life is already stressful as it is. There are enough worries in the world that you will have

to deal with. There are many battles to fight to make the world a better place. You don’t need to be

fighting a battle at home for basic things that once was the mainstay of every housewife.

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A WIFE AS A FINANCIAL MANAGER

Being a wife is not the same as being a concubine. A man does not entrust a concubine with

administrative tasks and or does not entrust her to manage wealth if she is unable to do so. A concubine

is primarily there to meet the sexual needs of a man and to serve him. A wife is ordinarily a woman

who has received sufficient education to understand how to manage wealth and property and is able to

look after these in the absence of the husband. A woman who is spendthrift, has no sense of planning

for the long-term and does not look after the financial interest of the family isn’t a wife. If a man had a

woman who is of low intelligence and generally incapable of managing her own financial affairs, she

can contribute to his household by having children, but she cannot be the only caregiver because she

may end up raising children who will be dumb and incapable. A wife must be educated sufficiently to

navigate the world successfully even in the absence of her husband, and without her enlisting the use

of her beauty and charms to facilitate the better cooperation of men in society. One cannot trust a dumb

woman to manage navigating the world successfully without also becoming lewd and immodest. The

dumb woman must always be kept in the house. The wife must spend the bulk of her time at home but

has the liberty to navigate the world on her own due to her superior intelligence and ability to deal with

men as men.

Remember that marrying a woman is an investment into your legacy. There’s a chance that you may

die before seeing your children grow up. You might die immediately after impregnating your wife. Can

that woman move forward in her life on her own without succumbing to lewdness and indecency? Can

she find a way to survive, manage money or hold down a job? Does she have a support structure in your

family or her family that can help facilitate the better survival of your children so that they can still be

raised well? As much as there are men who prefer dumb women because they believe it is easier to

exercise control over her, such a woman is not a compliment to your family and isn’t doing you any

favors. It is better to have a woman who is savvy with money, who knows how to manage her life and

the finances of her household well. What you don’t want is a woman who is spoilt and who thinks only

about today and tomorrow. You want a woman who thinks about your financial success and stability

five and ten years from now. You want a woman who is going to say to you, “Let’s not go on holiday

this time around, we are going to need to pay school fees soon.” You want a woman who is financially

A WIFE AS A SERVANT OF GOD

A wife cannot be godless because the institution of marriage in and of itself in a godly affair. You

cannot call a woman a wife who does not hold to certain principles on her own through her own private

conviction in God. A woman who isn’t loyal to God and to worshipping Him can never be loyal to a

man. A woman who isn’t godly should not raise children and should be treated as a concubine. She may

have the children, but not raise the children. Remember the woman you call wife represents your family,

your legacy, your heritage and is to instill your values into your children. Those values should be as

God commanded and not some made up crap taught by Satan. Therefore, it will go without saying that

a godly woman knows that she is to be chaste, never entertain the attention of strange men, be loyal to

her husband with all her heart, and not let her eyes look beyond him. A woman who isn’t committed to

God will not have those qualities nor are those qualities teachable. Either she has it because she was

raised properly, or she doesn’t.

It’s much easier to be married to a woman who has convictions and beliefs that serve your best interest

rather than having to enforce God’s laws yourself. A woman who fears God will act according to what

God wants from her, and you will not have to reprimand her or demand that she behaves appropriately.

She will, through virtue of her own convictions and faith, know exactly how to be a loyal and devoted

wife. Conversely, a woman who doesn’t have her own convictions and beliefs will depart from your

expectations the moment something or someone better comes along or when she thinks she can get

away with misbehavior. You do not want someone who is going to constantly challenge you and

threaten you with bad behaviour. You want a wife whom you can trust to behave appropriately long

after you’ve died to honor your name, your children, grandchildren, and your legacy. Remember, even

if your marriage ends in divorce, that woman’s name will always be attached to yours. She will be

known as your ex-wife. If she behaves badly people are always going to question your judgement.

Furthermore, the goal of this life isn’t to get married. If you believe in God, the goal is to serve God.

Marriage is merely a vehicle through which people can serve God together and enjoy the intimacy of

having a relationship through God. If both husband and wife choose to make God their goal and they

serve God together, they have reached the highest objective in their lives. At that level, the marriage

will take care of itself. Ask yourself if you want a marriage that brings you nearer to God or one that is

going to take you away from remembering God? Of course, if you are a disbeliever, this segment about

God is not something you would be interested in. However, even disbelievers have good and bad

marriages depending on whether they have a goal outside of themselves and their marriage they are

both working towards. It certainly helps when a couple believes they are working towards some greater

good outside of themselves and that is bigger than the importance of their marriage.

Now that we have the gist of what a wife is one might ask what the incentive for anyone would be to

marry? Why would a woman marry a man only to have to obey him and mold her life to match his?

Why would a man risk marrying a woman who isn’t qualified for the job as wife? How would he vet

her before marrying her?