The Importance of Masculinity: A Balanced Perspective

In a world that often misunderstands or mischaracterizes masculinity, it’s time we set the record straight. Masculinity isn’t the enemy—it’s a vital force for order, strength, and purpose. But it’s not about dominance for dominance’s sake or suppressing others. It’s about men stepping into their authentic selves, embracing their natural roles, and contributing to a world that desperately needs balance. Drawing from my work at coachdebruyns.com, I want to share why masculinity matters, how it’s been misunderstood, and how men can reclaim it to live lives of meaning and impact.

Masculinity: A Foundation for Strength and Responsibility

Masculinity, at its core, is about being strong, brave, useful, and true to yourself as a man. It’s about holding fast to your expectations—not society’s, not anyone else’s, but yours. Men don’t carry the same endless list of expectations that women often face, which is why we must define ourselves on our own terms. As I’ve written in *Live Your Life as a Man*, “Be strong, be brave, be useful, be you. You are a man and as a man you must hold to what your expectations are.” This isn’t about arrogance or tyranny—it’s about owning your role with confidence and clarity.[](https://coachdebruyns.com/tag/maleness/) In the past, men understood the importance of brotherhood, of standing shoulder-to-shoulder to protect families and build empires. As I noted in my blog on *Brotherhood*, there was a time when men supported each other to create order, safety, and stability. This wasn’t about oppressing anyone—it was about ensuring survival in a harsh world. “A nuclear family could not survive on its own in the wide expanses of the earth where raids were not far and few between,” I wrote. That sense of duty, of men working together to uphold structure, is a cornerstone of healthy masculinity that we’ve lost touch with today.[](https://coachdebruyns.com/category/society/)

The Mischaracterization of Masculinity

Too often, masculinity is painted as the root of society’s problems—labeled as “toxic” or blamed for fostering violence and oppression. I get it; the fear is that emphasizing masculinity might encourage misogyny or prop up a “tyrannical patriarchy.” But that’s a misunderstanding I address head-on in *The Principles*. “It’s important to be assertive and take control when the situation calls for it, but it’s also important to allow others to exercise their agency within reason,” I wrote. True masculinity isn’t about crushing others—it’s about leading with strength while respecting the autonomy of those around you.[](https://coachdebruyns.com/manly-principles/) The world has become too “sterilized” for many men, as I’ve pointed out in *I Don’t Know What He Wants*. With cultural shifts and the rise of behaviors that blur traditional roles, some men, desperate to define themselves, lean into extreme traits like violence or tyranny. This isn’t masculinity—it’s a distortion. “Men who want to distinguish themselves as men—also a natural inclination—sometimes adopt the most extreme traits of masculinity, such as violence and tyranny,” I explained. These are not the hallmarks of true manhood but rather the symptoms of a society that’s failed to guide men toward a balanced expression of their nature.[](https://coachdebruyns.com/i-dont-know-what-he-wants/)

Reclaiming Masculinity: A Call to Action

So, how do we reclaim masculinity in a way that’s healthy and constructive? It starts with recognizing that there’s a crisis of masculinity—a void where clear guidance and mentorship should be. My book *Live Your Life as a Man: Reclaim Your Masculinity* is my attempt to offer a balanced solution to this crisis. “There is a crisis of masculinity in the world and very few people out there have a balanced solution to the problem,” I wrote. That solution lies in men defining themselves not by external pressures but by their own internal compass.[](https://coachdebruyns.com/blog/) In *From the Book, Live Your Life as a Man*, I challenge men to reject the idea that masculinity is inherently flawed. “Be a man, not defined in terms of women or societal expectations, but in terms of yourself,” I urge. This means embracing traits like dominance and strength but channeling them into purpose—protecting, providing, and building rather than tearing down. It’s about understanding that masculinity gone wrong leads to lawlessness or toxicity, but masculinity done right is a force for good.[](https://coachdebruyns.com/where-did-masculinity-go-wrong/) Brotherhood is another key piece. Men thrive when they support each other, not in competition but in camaraderie. As I shared in *Brotherhood*, empires were built because men understood the value of collective strength. We need to revive that spirit—mentoring young men, fostering accountability, and creating spaces where men can grow without shame or apology.[](https://coachdebruyns.com/category/society/)

The Bigger Picture

Masculinity isn’t just about men—it’s about the balance it brings to society. When men step into their roles with clarity and purpose, everyone benefits. Families are stronger, communities are safer, and the world has a foundation to build upon. But this requires us to reject the narrative that masculinity is the problem and instead see it as part of the solution. As I’ve said time and again, “IT IS WHAT IT IS.” Masculinity is a natural, God-given part of who men are. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being authentic. It’s about standing tall, being useful, and living with honor. Men, it’s time to reclaim your masculinity. Define yourself, support your brothers, and lead with strength and compassion. The world needs you now more than ever.